Chapter 6: Reflection

It has been several hours since I left the cemetery. Several hours of running with no real direction. Several hours of panic and confusion. I try to focus on Tomo and the hope that I will find him again, but Tatsu’s words continue to interfere. I will not always be able to protect you. I wonder if she has returned to report to Okāsan. If so, I am certain Okāsan will have sent the other kyūketsuki to retrieve me. I cannot allow them to capture me. Even if they did not destroy me, I would be a prisoner among them. A servant. A slave. I would never be free again to seek out Tomo.

I finally decide I must stop. The fatigue of my escape is compounded by the coming morning. I must find a place to rest. Somewhere safe that will shelter me from the sun.

I find an old house with few windows. It appears to be abandoned. Though I can never be certain I will not be disturbed, I believe that I will be able to pass the day here. When night falls again, I will resume my flight.

Once inside the house, I unpack Ai’s possessions. I carefully lay out her dress from the winter carnival. That night was very special to Ai. It was on that night that Tomo finally asked her for her hand. I begin to disrobe, removing the garb of a kyūketsuki assassin. I replace it with the stained dress of Ai Ōnishi.

On the house’s second floor, I find a fogged, cracked mirror. I stand before it in Ai’s dress. I remember the joy she felt when her mother presented the dress to her. That was following the war. That was after they had been released from the internment camps to find their previous lives were lost. They were poor and struggling during that time, yet her mother had managed to procure a new dress for her daughter. A dress to wear to the winter carnival. A dress to wear for Tomo.

I search the mirror for a trace of Ai. It had seemed that her name was all that remained in my memory. She was like a passing acquaintance from years past. Someone I knew only superficially. Mukade had become preeminent after I became one of the Kuroiwa clan, and Ai found herself exiled to fleeting thoughts and occasional dreams.

But I can see her now. The traces are faint, but she stares back at me, young and hopeful. She has waited so long to return. So long to reunite with her Tomo.

I retrieve the picture of Ai and Tomo from my pack. As I look at it, blank spots in my memory seem to be rewritten. Lost feelings return. The fading black-and-white image begins to fill with color as I recall the night of the carnival.

Ai Ōnishi was a shy girl who wanted nothing more than to love and have that love returned. She was a girl who had been taken from her home and placed in Manzanar. She was a girl who found herself in an uncertain situation, scared and alone. But there, in Manzanar, she also found Tomo, and with him came the happiness she had sought during her young life.

Tomo was eight years her elder. He had worked at a university before being moved to Manzanar, and he believed he would return there one day. Ai wanted very much to return there with him, but instead, he followed her family back to Stockton. He told her that he had lost everything when they sent him to Manzanar, but there he had found the only thing he would cherish the rest of his life. He had found Ai, and he had found love.

On the night of the winter carnival, fake snow was sifted from above the dance floor onto the dancers below. All the trees had been strung with lights, and lanterns were hung around the floor. Numerous couples, thrilled that the war was finally at an end, enjoyed the peace of a slow dance in their lovers’ arms. To Ai, though, there was no one else there but Tomo.

I hold the picture close to my breast as I think of him. He was so handsome. So loving. He was all that Ai had ever hoped for.

As dawn comes, I remove Ai’s dress and carefully pack it away. I do not dress in my assassin’s clothes, though. Those are the clothes of Mukade, and this moment belongs to Ai. I walk to the window holding the picture. The sun is rising, its first rays staining the sky red. I stand naked and let the weak light fall upon me, enjoying my first sunrise since joining the kyūketsuki.

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Chapter 5: Disinterment

As a young girl, I loved to visit cemeteries. They always seemed beautiful, filled with flowers and trees. The grass was always trimmed and kept free of weeds. There were angels on pedestals, their pebbly wings spread out behind them. There were babies and lambs carved into thick granite markers. And there was peace. No one approached me in a cemetery. People walked about slowly, talking softly, perhaps offering a quick glance or a smile as they passed by.

My fascination with cemeteries did not wane as I aged. Each grave marked a lifetime of memories that were lost to the world. Underneath a few feet of dark soil, the bodies and experiences of countless generations were reabsorbed by the earth.

After I awakened from my brief death, when I transcended the boundaries of mortality and became one of the kyūketsuki, a longing for the grave began to grow in me. Ai Ōnishi belonged to sunlit days dreaming of her life with Tomo. She could not exist dwelling in the shadows, her memories of love slowly diminishing. I had to put Ai to rest, so I placed all that remained of her among the deceased. There was not much left at that time. A dress. Some jewelry. A few mementos. I buried them in a cemetery to decay alongside the others whose time had passed. Ai Ōnishi, daughter of Nobu and Megumi Ōnishi. Rest in peace.

But no matter how tried, I could not bear to leave her behind.

As I moved with the Kuroiwa clan, so did what remained of Ai. I always placed her belongings in a serene part of each cemetery—a place where she might finally rediscover the peace she once knew.  Most of the time, I would find a newly dug grave and sneak her into it, only to unearth her again when we were forced to relocate. When we moved last, I found her a small mausoleum of her own.  A mausoleum known only to me.  A mausoleum I visit tonight for the last time.

I pause briefly at the door to check the area. It is rare that I can come to pay my respects to Ai Ōnishi. Tonight will be the last night doing so, though. Tonight, I plan to exhume her one final time and return her to the world. Tonight, she becomes as Lazarus.

The feelings inside me—excitement, joy, love—are all mortal and hard to contain. I thrust open the doors. I have come to free Ai from her burial chamber. I have come to let her experience fresh air and open skies.  I have come so that she may love again.

Thoughts of regaining Tomo ravage my mind, and I find it hard to concentrate. My only concern is to slide back the lid of the vault and look upon Ai’s belongings once again. If I can touch them . . . see them . . . I think I can recapture what it was to truly be her . . . .

I catch myself as I begin to take my first step into the mausoleum. I am suddenly aware of someone close behind me. My racing thoughts cease and my mind becomes focused. The person has come much too close. I allowed myself to be careless for a moment, and in that moment, someone managed to evade my senses.

“Stop where you’re at!”

My first instinct is to alter myself to appear human. It is within my abilities. I am still strong from the feeding.  But it is too late now.  If I had sensed him sooner, I could have hidden that I am one of the kyūketsuki. I could have charmed him, convinced him I pose no danger. But I allowed him to get too close. I can hear Ai beckoning me, pleading with me. She wants me to ignore him, to let him live, and I want so much to give in. I know that I cannot, though. Traces of Mukade linger, and she abides no risks. I turn, ready to pounce.

But Tatsu is already upon him.

If he could scream, I am certain his voice would carry with it maddening fear and pain. Instead, the confusion, sorrow, and insanity can only be read in his face, his body paralyzed by Tatsu’s bite. I avert my eyes. Only hours before I had done the same, taking away the life of the vampire hunter. As I watch Tatsu drain the officer, the act seems abhorrent. Monstrous.

When Tatsu finishes, she lets the body slump to the ground. The sound of the dead flesh collapsing to the walk breaks the silence of the attack. Tatsu drags the back of her gloved hand across her mouth, wiping away any excess blood.

“You have to be more careful from now on, Mukade. I will not always be able to protect you.”

Tatsu smiles, and once again I know not whether it bespeaks of friendship or malice.

“I think you are safe, for now,” she continues. “I must leave you with the task of cleaning, though. Okāsan will inquire after me if I am absent for long.”

Saying nothing more, Tatsu turns and walks away.

I do not move until she is out of sight. Then, I drag the officer’s body into the mausoleum. If I had not planned on releasing Ai previously, I would have to now. This place is no longer safe. I empty the vault of Ai’s possessions and replace them with the officer’s body, all the while thinking of Tatsu. The refrain of “I will not always be able to protect you” pervades my mind as I secure Ai’s possessions in my pack. The image of the officer being drained flashes in my mind. This time, I can hear him scream.

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