Chapter 4: Okāsan

In the presence of Okāsan, I kneel and present my sword. It is the custom of Kuroiwa warriors when returning from a mission. If Okāsan believes my efforts to be adequate, I will be told to rise and secure my weapon. If she deems I was unsuccessful, the sword that failed to defeat our enemy will slay me instead.

I have been waiting for several minutes to be acknowledged by Okāsan. I know this delay in addressing me is intended to be a lesson. She is aware that I did not return promptly from my task, so she is prolonging my judgment. Behind me, Tatsu leans against the wall, appearing relaxed and ignorant of the severity of this ceremony. As a Kuroiwa warrior, though, she realizes its importance all too well.

Okāsan watches over our territory, seeking out invaders; precursors to danger. Those eyes have seen the beauty and tranquility of the Japanese countryside. They have observed the sun set over Mount Fuji, the sky red like the lava churning in its belly. They have witnessed the extravagant beauty of the Kinkaku-ji. Those eyes have also looked upon the comfort women and their disgrace. They have surveyed the devastation of a global war. They have beheld numerous battles, the story of which are told in the scars of her body.

But I know the eyes of Okāsan do more than perceive the world around her. When becoming one of the kyūketsuki, the previous life is lost. All the cares of the living are said to be drained from us when we are first bitten, and we replace those cares with the power of the kyūketsuki as we drink the blood of the one who transforms us. When I gaze into Okāsan’s eyes, though, they tell the story of all she has seen, and I know that she continues to claim the joy and the pain of her human life as her own. I long to tell her that I continue to feel, too. I feel the hope of finding a love and a life long lost. I know the way of the kyūketsuki too well, though. I have seen the consequences of expressing human sentiment.

“So, you have finally returned to report, Mukade.”

I continue to kneel, eyes cast downward.

“Yes, Okāsan.”

“And what is your report?”

I am certain she already knows I have been successful in my task. Her demeanor—calm, casual—informs me of that.

“The hunter has been taken care of.”

Okāsan does not respond for a moment. I feel her eyes on me, though I continue to bow my head.

“Rise, Mukade.”

I do as she demands, slinging my sword across my back once again. I stand, unmoving.

“Is that all you have to report?”

“Yes, Okāsan.”

“Did you search him?”

The fire inside me grows stronger, like the flickering flames in the barrel. Like the bubbling lava of Mount Fuji. I can feel the heat beneath my skin, spreading up my neck, through my ears.

“Yes, Okāsan.”

“What did you find?”

I wonder if I can cheat those eyes. If I attempt to mask the truth—to stow away the image of Tomo and my continued love—will I succeed? Does she perceive the fire that threatens to consume me as I stand before her? If I were one of her own, a kyūketsuki of her own making, her dominion over me would not allow such deceit. I am not one of her own, though. I am not a true member of the Kuroiwa clan. I am a guest intent on excusing herself before she overstays her welcome.

“He had nothing, Okāsan. No clues to tell if there are more like him or why he is here.”

Okāsan approaches me. If I dared look into those eyes now, what story would I read in them? I am too frightened of what it might be to risk a glance.

“So, you found nothing on him? Nothing at all?”

“No, Okāsan.”

I don’t know how much longer I can stand under that gaze. My muscles are turning to ash. Soon, I must collapse.

“You are dismissed, Mukade.”

I thank Okāsan, then turn to leave. I tell myself that I have enough strength left to walk out of the room without stumbling, without giving any indication of my lie. I know now that I must leave soon. I cannot trust my strength to endure more of Okāsan’s questioning if she becomes suspicious of me.

Tatsu’s eyes on me as I leave are nearly as palpable as Okāsan’s. I do not betray that I am aware of her scrutiny. I continue on and out the door, shutting it securely behind me.

Click “Read more” for credits.

Credits:
Ai Ōnishi/Mukade
Hair: Deviant Kitties Alienor-Red
Skin: Deviant Kitties Runny – China
Eyes: Celestial Studios Mirror Amber
Outift: Bare Rose Tokyo Carmilla
Gloves: Musashi Leather Gloves
Boots: Beckenbauer Productions Revolver Darklord Boots
Sword: Musashi Tek Yakiba

Tatsu
Hair: ETD Loopy – Black
Skin: Whispers of the Night Deathly [Blood Gloom Stalker]
Tattoo: Bare Rose Tokyo Kokuryu Tattoo
Eyes: Celestial Studios Mirror Green
Outift: Bare Rose Tokyo Carmilla
Sword: Hanzo Blades Imperial Fury Katana

Okāsan
Hair: Deviant Kitties Eve – Black Licorice
Skin: Daeskins Juliana III Nil Nisi Bonum
Eyes: Celestial Studios Mirror Hazel
Top: Last Call Janet Lacy Vest
Bottom: Last Call Magdelena Silk Pants
Gloves: Last Call Milena Satin Gloves
Boots: Vulpine Wear Stalkers Buckle Boots

All pictures taken in The Back Alley.